Last week, I told you I had a date with a really wonderful guy and then we had another really great date! I was on cloud nine…..until he ghosted me. Jerk! I still can’t figure out what went wrong. I didn’t wear my Princess Leia dress on our date. I didn’t tell him the story about how I took my dog to the emergency vet hospital one time for having a boner that lasted several hours. I didn’t talk about how I turned my college boyfriend gay and start crying or anything. And I made sure not to show him the Voodoo doll I made for him just in case things went wrong. I have no idea what the problem was! (I’m really glad I made the Voodoo doll though.) I tried really hard not to repeat past mistakes!
The thing that makes me most mad, is that I spent a whole day cleaning my house for him so that he wouldn’t know what a slob I really am! I don’t do that for many people (just ask my friends).
He passed Stephanie’s datability test with flying colors. He had a place to live, he had a job, he had his own mode of transportation, he wasn’t already married to anyone else, he was positive he wasn’t gay, he had legal residency in the United States so I knew he wasn’t just looking for a green card, and he wasn’t a suspected serial killer. Plus, he didn’t look like a hobbit, I didn’t meet him at a mental hospital, and it didn’t seem like he was just trying to get into my pants like a lot of the guys I’ve dated before. He met all of my standards! (Maybe I need to up my standards, I don’t know.)
The bottom line is that the guy turned out to be a total douche bag and I’m glad I didn’t waste any more time on him. Next?
Stephanie Walters 
Ugh.
I used to hang out with a guy that thought Douche Bag wasn’t enough. Douche Nozzle, that was his standard that he’d drop when someone would do something Douchey.
I’m sorry he was craptastic. Maybe, he was married and got caught.
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