Author: Stephanie Walters

I’ve decided to add another day to my weekly blog posts.  I will now be posting on Friday also, and Friday’s post will be dedicated to interviews that I will be conducting each week.  To kick things off this week, here is an interview I had with Yoda ( the little green guy for those of you who aren’t smart enough to watch Star Wars).

Me: I am very honored to meet you Yoda!

Yoda: Very honored, you should be.  Hmmm?

Me: How does it feel to be the wisest person in the universe?

Yoda: Annoyed I get, that idiots most people are.

Me: Wow!  I didn’t know you thought that way.  You seem so humble in the movies.

Yoda: A good actor, I am.  Yes?

Me: I guess so.  Do you like to ride roller coasters?

Yoda: Very funny, you are.  Make fun of my height, you do.  Rude, you are.

Me: I didn’t even think about the height requirement.  I’m very sorry if I offended you.

Yoda: Okay, it is.  From a human like you, I do not expect much.

Me:  Umm, okay.  What is your favorite kind of food?

Yoda: Soup!  Soup made of Dagobah snails, my favorite it is.

Me:  Sounds delicious. (Sarcastic tone)

Yoda: Appreciate fine dining, you do not.

Me: I suppose not.  Were you the first Jedi ever?

Yoda: Jedi only exist in movie.  Not real life.  Ignorant, obviously you are.

Me: O-kay.  I just have one more question Yoda.  Does your species give hive fives, or do you call them high threes, since you only have three fingers?

Yoda:  Retarded you must be, to ask this question.  Done with this interview, I am.

Me: Well, thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.

Yoda:  Around smarter people, I must go now.

So there you have it!  Apparently, Yoda is a complete and total, arrogant, snob.  Who wouldn’t have thought?  Be sure to check out my blog next Friday to see who I interview next!

I love donuts.  In fact, I love donuts so much, I should have become a cop.  I frequent donut shops quite often.  What pisses me off about them is that they are only open in the mornings.  I think donuts are an all day kind of food, therefore, you should be able to buy them all day.  Plus, I don’t like getting up that early in the morning.  Therefore, I say every donut shop should be open 24 hours a day.  In fact, every place of business should be open 24 hours a day because some times I can’t sleep at night and I just want to go shopping for office supplies.  Sometimes I realize I don’t have any clean clothes for work the next day and I need to go buy an outfit late at night.  Not only would this benefit consumers, but it would also create so many more jobs!  This would improve our economy a great deal.  And that’s why I support this movement so much.  Not because I have weird eating habits.  Not because I’m too lazy to do my laundry.  And not because I have insomnia.  But because it is how we will make America great again.  Who’s with me?

I love donuts so much, I should have become a cop.

I call it my “workout” so people don’t judge me…

I love playing on the Wii.  My favorite game to play is Just Dance.  I have all of the versions except for the newest one, Just Dance 2019.  I tried to buy it the other night, but every GameStop on this side of town was sold out of it.  I was super stoked when I found out they were releasing it for the regular Wii.  I’m old school, and I don’t want to upgrade my gaming system.  I play Just Dance on average 2 to 3 times a week.  I call it my “workout” so people don’t judge me (something about these games being intended for kids).  It actually is a really good cardio workout, and I have to keep my skills up so that when I play with my nieces I actually have a chance of winning.  It’s a great stress reliever too.  Try to be in a bad mood while you’re playing Just Dance.  You can’t, can you?  So, connect with your inner child, round up some friends, and play some Just Dance this weekend.  For a good time, Just Dance!

Last month, I took Pedro and one of my nieces to Barktoberfest, a festival for dogs.  It was put on to benefit A Life to Live in Baytown, TX.  This organization is a rescue group and fosters pets until they find their forever home.  We had a great time at the festival!  There were tons of vendors selling dog products and craft products.  They held several contests including a Pet/Owner look-a-like contest.  There was a kissing booth where you could make a donation for a sweet little kiss by a very cute little dog.  They had games for the kids to play and various photo ops with cute background displays.  Pedro even got to help make a special bandana just for him at one of the craft booths.  I really hope this becomes an annual event.  If so, we will definitely be there again next year.  To make a donation or find out more about A Life to Live, see the link below.

A Life to Live     https://www.adopttosave.org

Warning: This is for super Star Wars nerds who geek out over anything Star Wars.

So I recently learned how to cook and I really enjoy it.  As you know, I also really enjoy Star Wars.  So why not combine the two?  I found these Star Wars kitchen gadgets on Amazon and absolutely love them!  If you’re a Star Wars dork like me, you’ll love them too.  Check out what I found!

Death Star Waffle Maker

Yoda and Darth Vader Toasters

R2D2 Popcorn Maker

Chewbacca Coffee Maker

R2D2 and BB8 Timers

“I eventually had to sue the church…”

A Jehovah’s Witness cam knocking on my door today.  She wanted to tell me about her church, but I stopped her and told her I had a story to tell her.  One day, while I was out on my lunch break at work, I was T-boned by a white church van.  The van left the scene of the accident, a hit and run.  Luckily though, their license plate fell off in the collision so I was able to track down who owned the van.  It turned out it belonged to a Jehovah’s Witness church and that the two men in the van were illegal immigrants.  The preacher not only refused to give up the names of the driver and passenger, he also hid the van until it was repaired so that I couldn’t take pictures.  That didn’t seem very holy to me.  I eventually had to sue the church in order to get my car fixed and my medical bills paid.  I also now have two herniated disks in my back that I have to deal with.  So in conclusion, no, I don’t want to come to your church.  I don’t think the lady knew what to make of my story.  She excused herself and left and I haven’t had a single Jehovah’s Witness come knocking on my door once.  I guess that’s one way to get rid of them.

I love Fall for primarily one reason – Pumpkin flavored EVERYTHING!  Every year it seems like there are even more Pumpkin flavored products, which is great in my opinion.  So far this year, I have had Pumpkin flavored coffee K-Cups, coffee creamer, Cheerios cereal, Shredded wheat Cereal, Frosted Flakes cereal, Hershey Kisses candy, Twix candy, Chobani greek yogurt, Quaker oatmeal, Little Debbie snack cakes, Twinkies, Pepperridge Farms Pumpkin spice swirl bread, Philsbury Grands Pumpkin Spice Rolls, Pop-Tarts, HEB muffin bars, Dairy Queen Blizzard, Jamba Juice smoothie, Jack in the Box milk shake, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin scones, and  even HEB Pumpkin flavored ice cream (which was by far the best).  Why do I love Pumpkin flavored stuff so much?  Why wouldn’t I?  I totally think someone should make Pumpkin flavored Churros, which happens to be my favorite dessert.  I bet that would taste amazing!  I’m still on the lookout for more Pumpkin flavored stuff this year, so if you know of any more; please, please, please post it in the comments below.

“Pumpkin flavored EVERYTHING!”

So I’m not exactly the world’s best driver.  I’ll admit that.  It’s not that I try to drive

like an asshole, I just have trouble paying attention to what’s going on around me when I’m driving.  It’s like I have DADD (Driving Attention Deficit Disorder) or something.  Anyways, a friend of mine thought it would be fun to come up with a scoring system for my bad driving and keep track of my score .  Each day, my score starts over.

“It’s like I have DADD (Driving Attention Deficit Disorder)”

Here’s how I get points:

• Someone flashes their lights at me – 1 point
• Leading the flow of traffic without getting pulled over – 2 points
• Someone honks their horn at me – 2 points
• I inadvertently cut someone off, then wave to thank them – 2 points
• Someone flips me the bird – 2 points
• I accidentally forget to stop at red stuff – 2 points
• Someone yells curse word out the window to me – 3 points
• I get pulled over but get away with just a warning – 3 points
• I encourage people to drive faster but riding super close to their bumper – 3 points
• I pass someone going to slow on the shoulder – 2 points
• I create my own exit off of a freeway or highway – 3 points
• My passenger feels the need to shut their eyes and start praying – 1 point
• My passenger feels the need to grab the “Oh Shit” handle – 2 points
• My passenger feels the need to grab the steering wheel – 3 points

So far, my high score for a day is 18, but I definitely think I can beat that if I just concentrate less.  If you ever need a lift sometime, feel free to give me a call!

I’m a dork.  That’s common knowledge, especially when it comes to Star Wars.  So today’s post shouldn’t surprise you much.  I totally geeked out when I found these Star Wars translator apps in the Apple iTunes Store.  My friends were probably less than excited when they started receiving texts in Aurebesh, Shyriwook, Droid, and Yoddish from me, but hey, friendship involves sacrifices sometimes, right?  If you’re going to be friends with a Star Wars nerd, you have to expect stuff like this sometimes.  Here are the apps I found.  Now you can finally know what in the hell Chewbacca is saying too!  They’re totally amazing, right?  Try them out and comment on what you think of them.

Aurebesh Translator (This is the written language used in Star Wars)

Yoddish Translator (This is how Yoda speaks)

Shryiwook Translator (This is the language Wookies speak – Chewbacca is a Wookie)

Droid Translator

I’m not really a night owl or a morning person.  I like to go to bed early and sleep late.  I’m really more of an afternoon person provided I get my afternoon nap.  I recently read an article about how a major oil and gas company has nap rooms in their office building.  Employees are allowed to go and nap in there anytime they want, as long as they still put in their eight hours every day.  What a brilliant idea!  Why didn’t I think of this?  I put a comment in the comment box suggesting this at my work, but senior leadership quickly shot it down, which is total crap.  If I could get a nap in during the day, I would be so much more productive.  And if I’m still putting in eight hours, my company is not losing anything from me.  Of course, I do like to take long naps.  Like a minimum three to four hour nap.  So I would have to come in early and stay late.  And on days when I’m super tired, I might need two naps.  Uh oh!  When you do the math, I would pretty much have to live at my work to fit in both naps and eight hours of work.  I definitely don’t want to do that.  Maybe a nap room isn’t such a great idea for someone like me, OR maybe the rules just need to be redefined.  Maybe every two hours in the nap room substitutes for one hour of work time.  That’s an even better idea.  I mean it’s not like anyone is going to come to work and sleep 16 hours every day, so they would still have to do some work….unless they’re super lazy like me!