For this weeks interview, I wanted to interview someone notorious for helping people. Who else would meet this criteria than Robin Hood? He stole from the rich and gave to the poor. I was fascinated to find out what made him so philanthropic towards poor people. Here’s what he said:
Me: Hello Robin Hood. I’m so excited to meet you.
Robin: Oh, please call me Robin.
Me: Okay Robin. So what I really want to know is what gave you the idea to steal from the rich and give to the poor.
Robin: Well, I myself and my family grew up very poor and I know how bad it sucks. (Laughs)
Me: Many people say you were the inspiration for modern day welfare. What do you have to say about that?
Robin: I don’t know about that. I didn’t really have a system like that in my mind when I started stealing from the rich. It just seemed like they had so much and I had very little so it only made sense to even things out.
Me: You mean the poor people had very little and you wanted to help all poor people, right?
Robin Hood: Not really. Look lady, the truth is that I stole for myself. I hid my loot at poor people’s houses until it was safe to sale it at a Pawn Shop. I paid the poor people only a little bit because I knew they were desperate and would do it.
Me: Wow, I never would have thought that. Everyone always talks about what a hero you were.
Robin Hood: Well, I am sort of a hero….at the casino. I have a bit of gambling problem so I’m always at the casino. I got a huge jackpot on a slot machine once and set a record, so I am a bit of a celebrity at the casino. I totally mastered that quarter slot machine. I constantly lose at the rest of the games which is why I need more money.
Me: So, let me get this straight. You’re addicted to gambling, but you’re obviously not very good at it. So you started stealing from rich people to get more money to gamble with. You try to hide it from the cops so you keep it at poor people’s houses and hardly give them anything for helping you to conceal your crime. Then you waste the money you steal at the casino. Is that correct?
Robin: Yep. Hey, have you been to that new casino in Atlantic City? Maybe you and I could go check it out together sometime. (He winked at me in a super creepy way.)
Me: Yeah, I don’t think so. Thanks for the interview. Call me never!
Stephanie Walters 