A New Right of Way

So I know according to the traffic laws and everything, that Pedestrians always have the right of way, but that seems odd to me.  I mean, in order to survive in this world, you have to be stronger than your opponent.  Obviously, cars are stronger than people, therefore, by nature they should have the right away.  Here are 10 Reasons why Pedestrians should yield the right of way to cars:

1. If a car runs into a person, the person will be the one to get hurt.  If a person runs into a car, the person will still be the one who gets hurt.
2. If someone is walking, they obviously are not in a big hurry, so they shouldn’t be slowing down cars that are doing something important like getting to the McDonald’s drive thru before the dinner rush backs the drive thru line up.
3. Many people who are walking do not have cars because they are poor.  People with cars must have at least some money.  Everyone knows that the richer you are in America, the more important you are.
4. Rarely do pedestrians wave to thank a car that allowed them to cross the street instead of running them over.  Pedestrians have become very self-entitled, probably because they have no souls.  We don’t need any more of these types of people in our society.
5. Cars are way faster than walking which makes transportation more efficient.  People who are walking are inefficient, and therefore, probably not that smart.
6. Jay walking can be a big problem and result in unnecessary injuries.  This is easily avoidable by giving cars the right away.  If a pedestrian knows a car is not going to stop for them, they are less likely to cross the street, especially after the first few pedestrians are run over.
7. Our society has developed an obesity problem which is directly due to poor diet and lack of exercise.  If people were forced to run for their lives in order to cross the street, they would probably be more likely to get and stay in shape.
8. When a car drives through a puddle that splashes a pedestrian, it is likely to ruin the pedestrians day.  This would encourage them to buy a car so that they can be the one driving through a big puddle splashing people.
9. Walking is way more likely to cause foot problems later in life that driving.  Pushing on a peddle is way easier on the feet than walking in heels to get to work.  Therefore, by forcing people to drive, you are actually doing them a favor.
10. Some of us are not morning people and end up running late for work quite often.  We don’t need pedestrians  slowing us down.  Being late for work causes a whole lot of problems that will ultimately affect walkers in a negative way.  If I’m late for my job, I could get fired.  If I get fired, I would not be able to pay my bills.  If I don’t pay my bills, I could end up homeless.  If I were homeless, I would probably end up living on a street corner.  While I stood on the street corner, I would beg the pedestrians for money, and nobody likes that.  

So you see, it is in the best interest of the pedestrians to give cars the right away.  I’m going to take this argument to my senator and you should too.  If we’re going to make the world a better place, we are going to need to get a new law passed: The pedestrian sucks so don’t give a f*ck law.  What do you think?