One of my absolute favorite things to eat is Little Debbie Snakes. I don’t know how Little Debbie has come up with so many great recipes. She truly must be a genius. I really wanted to interview her but I couldn’t find her number on the web. Then I had an idea! I looked on a box of Moon Pies and saw a 1-800 number under the phrase saying “Contact Us!” Super excited to have a way to talk to her, I called the number right away to see if she would do a phone interview with me. Here’s how it went:
Little Debbie: How may I direct your call? [The first thing I noticed was that Little Debbie’s voice was not what I expected. She sounded really urban.]
Me: I’m trying to reach Little Debbie please.
Little Debbie: Well, you called the right place. What can I do for you?
Me: Oh, I have so many questions for you!
Little Debbie: Great. [In a sarcastic tone that I missed initially]
Me: So my first question is, which snack cake is your favorite to eat yourself?
Little Debbie: Are you kidding? I’m don’t eat that junk. It’s full of sugar and goes straight to my thighs.
Me: You don’t eat your own snack cakes? Wow! I would never have guessed that. How did you come up with the recipe for Oatmeal Creme Pies? Those are my favorite!
Little Debbie: Sir, I don’t think I can answer that for you. The recipes are top secret. I just answer the phone when people call.
Me: Oh, that makes sense. I bet your recipes do have to stay confidential to compete with Hostess. Although I like your cakes much better. So tell me, are there are new treats that are going to be released this Christmas? I know when the Valentines Day treats came out and you had added Red Velvet cakes, I was in total Heaven. I’m so anxious to see what’s in store for this Christmas!
Little Debbie: Sir, have you been smoking something?
Me: Not today, why?
Little Debbie: I’ve been answering this phone for over five years and I’ve never been asked any of these questions.
Me: You mean no one has every asked to interview you? So I’m the first one? [Super excited tone to have an exclusive interview]
Little Debbie: Look sir, this has been interesting and all, but I gotta go now. It’s time for my smoke break.
What? Little Debbie Smokes? She seems so wholesome.
Me: Okay, well thanks for the interview.
Little Debbie: Um hmm. [phone hangs up]
Stephanie Walters 