Well, for starters, you are a bit stringy on the treats.
For this week’s interview, I interviewed the infamous Pedro (my ten-year-old Chihuhua). I figured I would already know what Pedro thinks since we live together and he is my dog, but there were a few surprises to me in the interview. Note: The translations from “Woof” to English might be a little off, but you’ll get the gist of it.
Me: So what’s it like being my dog?
Pedro: It’s okay, I guess. I mean, it beats being in the shelter, but there are a few things you could do better at.
Me: Oh yeah? Like what?
Pedro: Well, for starters, you are a bit stringy on the treats.
Me: That’s to prevent you from being overweight and getting heart disease. I want you to be happy and healthy for as long as possible.
Pedro: Well, I don’t think one extra meaty treat a day is going to hurt.
Me: Note taken. Is that all I do that bothers you?
Pedro: No. I don’t like it when you eat your dinner in front of me and don’t share. It’s just rude!
Me: Table scraps aren’t good for you Pedro.
Pedro: So you say. But if they’re so unhealthy, why are you eating them?
Me: Touche. Is there anything else I do that annoys you?
Pedro: You could stop putting goofy costumes on me for Halloween. I mean, this year you dressed me as a Piñata. Really?
Me: But you looked so adorable!
Pedro: I looked retarded! Do you have any idea how afraid of sticks I was on Halloween?
Me: Sorry! (sarcastically) Is there anything I do that you like?
Pedro: Why yes. Lots of things. I like it that you let me sleep in your bed at night, under the covers, right up next to you. It’s nice and cozy.
Me: I like that too. So tell me, what do you really do all day while I’m a work?
Pedro: What do you think, that I invite my doggy friends over and we have a party? Please. I sleep all day. I’m old, remember?
Me: I figured that much. It would be nice, however, if you contributed to the household in some way. I mean you don’t work or bring any money into the house. You just lay around, eat the expensive food I buy you, and play with one of your many toys. You could at least pick-up a Taco Bell commercial or something, just to help out financially. Your stuff isn’t cheap you know.
Pedro: I would happily do that, except that I’m too old and retired. These are my golden years. They’re supposed to be the best years of my life! I shouldn’t have to be worried about working.
Me: I think I’ve spoiled you a little too much. You’re acting very self-entitled.
Pedro: If it makes you feel any better, the best day of my life was the day you walked into the animal shelter and picked me. I love being your dog!
Me: Awe! I love being your dog mom!
Pedro: Cool. So, can I have a treat now?
Now I know what Pedro actually thinks. He is a very special dog and I’m very lucky to have found him. Good to know that he feels the same way (that I am lucky to have him).
Stephanie Walters 