I got pulled over on my way to work this morning. Allegedly, I was speeding. I was really just leading the flow of traffic. The cop said I was doing 53 in a 35. I’m not sure if that’s accurate though because I wasn’t paying attention to my speedometer. I would like to just pause for a second and say that I have the upmost respect for police officers. My sister is a police officer and I know they have one of the hardest jobs out there. Some of them though need to get a sense of humor. When the cop told me I was doing 53 in a 35, I said, “53 in a 35 huh? Would you believe me if I told you I was dyslectic?” To which he replied, “No. Here’s your ticket.” I mean, I thought that was a pretty creative reason for speeding. I figured if I could make the cop laugh, maybe he would just give me a warning. Not so much. I guess he didn’t find it very funny, which means now I get to sit through defensive driving for the 12th time. And no, I don’t have a lead foot. I don’t just get tickets for speeding, I get them for all kinds of things like not stopping at red stuff, creating my own exit off of the highway, and passing people on the shoulder. (Apparently that’s illegal. Who would have thought?) Maybe I do drive like an asshole, but I think the fact that I drive that way and don’t hit things very often just proves what a great driver I am. Wanna go for a ride?
Stephanie Walters 